2014. This is MY Year. (New Years Resolutions)

Guys. It's almost 2014, we have 4 days actually. First of all I can't believe how fast 2013 has gone by, I know I say that every year, but for real?!? Where has the time gone?? I'm blogging today to tell you that 2014 is MY year. I am a senior in high school, so I am graduating this year and I am going to start college to study what I love to hopefully get my dream job. I am going to push myself to achieve my dreams and have the best year of my life! I really want to make a ton of amazing videos for my YouTube channels. I truly love making videos, it's my biggest passion, and I AM going to make a ton of awesome, unique, and new videos this year and I will keep consistent. So...

Madi's New Years Resolutions for 2014:

• Graduate high school!
• Work out at least twice a week
• Eat healthier/ eat less fast/junk food
• At least 1 main channel video a week (2-4 preferably) 
• At least 2 vlogs a month (4+ preferably; I actually wanna do daily vlogs)
• Go to my dream college
• Make a solid amount of money from YouTube
• Hit our 1 year mark ;)
• Weekly to daily devotionals
• Get back to what I use to be able to do in ice skating
• Get rid of my acne
• hmmmm what else is necessary??

What are your New Years Resolutions?? 2013 Summary coming soon! :)

<3- Madi xoxo

Dear Zachary, (#3)

Dear Zachary,
                         Alright. It's 1:24am on Thursday, December 19th 2013. I went to bed last night at like 8:30ish and I was just awoken a few minutes ago from dream. Zach, I finally had a dream about you, but I think you are well aware of that. I think it was you. I think it wad you trying to "give me closure"? I don't know, let me explain.

     So I don't remember how to beginning went or how this came to be in my dream, but my whole dream was very vivid and for some reason it woke me up, but it wasn't scary at all. So you know how I had that crazy idea in the back of my head that you would just walk back in the door one day? Well, in my dream, you did. So you came back, you were home, and we were all so happy! We were sitting in the media room, all us siblings and you were sitting in that big white chair and I walked over to you and just stood there with my arms open "Come on." I said, you know motioning for a hug. Then you got up and gave me one of those big bear hugs that I miss so much, and that part was the most vivid, and I know this sounds crazy but, it felt so real, like you were actually hugging me, I felt like I was half awake and I was actually able to give you one last hug. Was that you? Was it really you trying to give me closure? If so, thank you. Thank you for visiting me in my dreams and please come back soon. O, back to the dream. After the hug I remember we were in your room and we had gotten new stuff for your room and Abby and I asked you if you heard us when would talk to you in heaven, and you said no and we were like oooooo awkward, and we all laughed. And then we asked you about heaven and what it was like, and you didn't remember and for some reason we concluded that was from the car crash you had, had that week. Abby and I also gave each other this look, like a "maybe he wasn't dead and he just ran off" look. Isn't that crazy?!? I don't know why I remember that! Believe me we would all obviously rather of you to have just run off and left us instead of being gone forever. I also remember so some reason I gave you this weird pink bunny or bear stuffed animal haha. I'm not gonna lie there was one other weird thing in that dream, the sheets on your bed were the same ones from that night, you know not clean at all, basically there was blood on them. I don't know, it was really weird but you didn't seem to mind, does that symbolize something? I don't know but, other than that we just talked, like nothing had changed.
   
     Also its weird because the other night my friend Katie had a dream about you. Yes, that Katie. She had a dream she was at our house and we went downstairs and you were just chillin' on the couch and said, "Hey whats up guys?" And we said, "That's weird, you look like Zach but that's not possible, you passed away." And you said "I know but I'm Zach." And apparently you gave Katie this look that she said it was you saying that, you are okay and that you are an angel. And after Katie told me that I said I wished I had a dream about you and what do you know! :)

    Another also, when I woke up I don't know, I felt this "presence" in my room, like you were there, there for me, to comfort me. I hope it was you. Please please PLEASE come visit me and hug me again Zach. I miss you more than I ever thought I could. I love you. Goodnight.

-Madey xoxo

Christmas Giveaway 2013!

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Dear Zachary, (#2)

Dear Zachary,
                        Wow. I can NOT believe it's been a month since you've been here. It still feels unreal, half the time I'm still in shock. I miss you. I miss your big hugs. I miss talking to you about everything in life till 6am. I miss you making yourself way to comfortable on my bed while I clean and you integrate me about my life. With you in the house, there was almost a different feeling. Now it will always seem like we are missing the last piece to our puzzle. I hate this. I hate that you are no longer there. I have SOOO much I need to talk to you about and I can't. So I guess this is my way of coping with it, in a way. I still have this stupid thought in the back of my head that maybe I will wake up and you will just walk back in the door. I actually had a dream about that last night, that you actually did walk back in through the door, then I woke up. Christmas is going to SUCK without you, even though I know you're here in spirit. I just wish I had the chance to spend Christmas with you before. I'm still waiting for that visit in my dreams! Guess what?! Remember who I was dating(you know who!) and you said we would get back together? Well. You were right. Were back together and I told people this time! :O Like parents, Facebook and all! It's like an actually thing! ;p And I'm happy. :) Thank you for introducing us. Without you we would have never met. You were right, he is perfect for me. I knew there was a reason I met that kid! But I would literally give that and a million other things up to have you back. You know I a few months ago I would say, "No, I'm not scared to die. I know I'm going to heaven." Which is true! But I think in the past couple of weeks I've realized I was scared; scared that I wouldn't know anyone? That doesn't make sense. I guess now I know your'e there, my Grandma is there, and many more; so now I know once my time comes I will be able to be reunited with family that has already gone home. And I'm so excited for that day! Don't get me wrong! I don't believe my time here is up and I am going to live life to the fullest!

I hate when people talk about those types of drugs now. I hate when people joke about overdosing. I hate when people don't think it's a serious thing. I hate the "Who else is taking your pills?" commercial because it just reminds me. I know you didn't mean it! I know it was an accident and I just wish I could have done something.

So Abby and Corrine got tattoos just for you!! Yah for real! :D Idk about me yet, you know I'm so indecisive! O! And your cousins did too! ^That's Abby's wrist, we all of the sudden noticed AFTER the fact that the tattoo that the tattoo artist drew is the same font you drew/wrote of the "Thumbs and Roses" sketch! What?!?!? It even has the little infinity symbol thing! That was you. I know you somehow did that. I guess life's crazy that way. <3

Certain people(you know who) have said some things to me but I know they're not true. I know you loved me. I know you called me your sister and you know I call you my brother. We may have only truly known each other for 5 months but it seems like a lifetime, if only it could have been. <3

Ironically "Be Ok" by Ingrid Michaelson just came on my Pandora radio. "I just wanna be ok, be ok, be ok." 

Well, I'm gonna be late for work. I love you Zach and I think of you everyday and I will probably everyday for the rest of my life. I love you.

Love, Madey xoxo