To Move On

To move on is a complicated task. To put everything behind you, that meant the most to you, is one of the hardest things a human will have to do in their lifetime. Gathering up your broken pieces and pushing on through life. People have to decided to move on from something. This "something" could be a lot of things, a romantic relationship, a friendship, a failed relationship with a family member, a unreachable goal, the passing of a loved one, and so many more. Sadly, every soul on this earth will feel the pain of loss and having to start again without something or someone that meant so much to you. Personally, I have lost many things in my lifetime; my grandmother, my step-brother, having a non-broken family, friends along the way who have given up on our friendship, and many more. The hardest of all these is true loss, a loved one passing away. But personally I feel that this if a type of loss where you have closure. Sadly, you know there is no bringing them back, but if you're a christian like myself you know they are now happy, healthy, and you will see them again one day. This is immensely comforting. I know that even though I will no longer be able to see and talk with my grandmother or step-brother here on earth, I know they are happy and healthy in heaven, and because they believe and I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior I will get to see them again one day. With death there is closure, you know there is no going back, which is awful but at least you won't be hanging on to the threads of "maybe" or "what if". With relationship loss. whether it's a lover, a friend or a family member, I feel like we all just wanna hold on to the hope that this might be fixed one day. But we can't hold on to that hope forever. Yes, any kind of loss requires grieving time, this could be months depending on how close you were with that person and how things ended. But after some time, we have to come to the realization that they aren't coming back. It's best to tell our selves this too. One, it will help you to move on, and two if they do end up coming back, you'll be even happier! But do not tell yourself "O they'll be back, just wait." Because if they don't come back, you'll be even more upset. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy and our minds will try to convince us that it will all fix it's self, because that's what we want to hear. The sad reality is sometimes things don't work out, even if everything was fine and there was no reason, sometimes things just end. And yes, sometimes we don't ever even get answers. Some people just aren't man or woman enough to think about your feelings and tell the truth. Staying hooked on one bad memory isn't healthy either. But how do we move on? When we've lost our everything, that we've put all our hope, trust, and love into, how do we begin again?

First, take your time, explain to people that you are grieving. (We are talking about relationship loss, not death.) They say it takes about half of your relationships span of time to get over someone. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Do not rush into a new relationship, don't get a rebound. Don't hurt someone else just because you are hurting. Second, leave that person(who has walked out of your life) alone. Give them time and space. I understand trying to talk to them or contact them for a bit in the beginning is obvious but sometimes people just need some breathing room. Definitely, do not stalk them! Bad! You don't want to get arrested! Don't harass their other friends either because they will tell them. Just back off for a bit. Who knows maybe they will realize that they truly made a mistake and then this break in your relationship will make you stronger as a couple or a friends(whatever applies to you). Third, talk it out. Therapy or counseling is NOT a bad thing! This can be super helpful to get an outside opinion, especially from a professional. Also find some good family and/or friends that will hear you out, and be there for you, don't overwhelm them with your problems forever and also be there for them even through your own struggles. You don't wanna lose more people through this. Forth, "out of sight, out of mind." This doesn't work wonders, but it does help. Anything that they gave you, or reminds you of them, put it away. You don't need to burn their clothes! But put that stuff in a box in the back of your closet to help you not think about. After sometime delete your pictures together from your social media and maybe even delete them? You don't want to see how good their doing without you! Or leave them so they can see how good you are without them! ;p I know deleting pictures from your phone is super hard so don't worry about doing that for a long time, just don't look at them. Fifth, focus on you! This is most important! Get back to your normal day to day life. Focus on your job, your school work, your old hobbies. Even try some new stuff! Emerse your self in distractions, distractions that you truly enjoy! Do things you didn't have time for before! Plus if they see you moving on, chances are they will probably want to talk again. People want what they can't have. But most importantly, don't dwell on the past. Everything happens for a reason. Remember that. I know it's hard to see in the middle of pain but everything will all work out for the best. "One day someone will walk into your life and make you realize why all the other ones left." God has plan. And you are never alone! Also remember it could be so much worse, others all around the world are going through things up to 100x worse then your problems, be thankful it's not worse! A personal suggestion? Get the book "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's available at most bookstores. This is an amazing book! It truly has been on point with helping me through my current issues. It's simple daily devotional but it always has to do with what I'm going through, its crazy! Check it out! (no i'm not sponsored haha) It is Bible based, obviously, but is just truly over all, inspiring and super helpful and calming. I love it!

I hope this was helpful! Don't be afraid to comment or private message me on YouTube(madiheartsmakeup16) with any questions! I would be glad to talk to you all! I wish you all the best and am praying for you, yes you! I love you and remember you are beautiful and truly amazing no matter what anybody says! :) And remember we are all humans so treat other as you would want to be treated. Don't just drop people, give explanations, and just be a kind human being.

<3- Madi xoxo